Ha, fucking hell, I thought our newspapers were a bit excessive on the hyperbole - how about this for rose tinted:
Yep, one injured bowler and another flying home to see the birth of his child and getting back three days ago...that fucking shows us! Never mind the fucking flip flapping like a leper in a windtunnel over Johnson, and the selection of fucking Beer.
Australian captain Ricky Ponting believes England's disrupted preparation and their poor record in Perth are reason enough to suggest the home side can get off the canvas and level the Ashes series.
After winning the Adelaide Test things haven't gone so smoothly for England, quick Stuart Broad ruled out for the rest of the series with a side strain while fellow paceman Jimmy Anderson made a round trip to England to witness the birth of his second child.
Couple that with the fact that England haven't won a Test in Perth since 1978 and Ponting is suitably upbeat.
"I think there's a great opportunity here," Ponting said on the eve of Thursday's third Test at the WACA Ground.
"I've been really excited about the last few days and just thinking about them (England) having at least one change in their side and (Jimmy) Anderson, as much as he's talking up not really worrying, we've all done those flights in the past and it takes you a couple of days to get over them.
"Historically England haven't got a great record here either, I know our last couple of games here haven't been as we would've liked either, but I honestly feel the pitch conditions here are as foreign to English players as anywhere else in the world and hopefully we can exploit that this week."
If Australia's ill-fated preparation for Adelaide was marked by its intensity, the lead-in to Perth has been deliberately relaxed.
"We have had fun this week, the whole theme of this week has been to enjoy the hard work and enjoy the preparation over here," said Ponting.
"It's all about us going out and playing the way we know we can play and playing with some instinct and not really thinking too much about the game.
"You're in a contest and you want to win every contest you're involved in, and if you're doing it with a smile on your face generally it means you're doing it well, so that's what I hope you'll see from our team this week."
Yep, one injured bowler and another flying home to see the birth of his child and getting back three days ago...that fucking shows us! Never mind the fucking flip flapping like a leper in a windtunnel over Johnson, and the selection of fucking Beer.