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Crystal Palace v Liverpool Ratings

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FoxForceFive

FoxForceFive

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Crystal Palace 0 Liverpool 2: Match Ratings

by Ben Johnson | Aug 20, 2018 |

Had a boss ratings there, you know. Fucking boss one, on me phone, work in motion, type as you watch. Real-time shit.

And then some mad fella come into The Croc and started asking everyone mad questions about whether they supported Liverpool or not on about 41 minutes and then me notes on my phone ended up in me notes deleted bits. And I went in to restore it, and The Reds scored, and I deleted it – lost forever, like a big fucking dope.

Honestly, there was all kinds in it. So forgive me if my mood has fucking dipped a bit. If Steve Jobs comes in here now, lad, I’ll fucking stick this iPhone up his stupid fucking arse the big bell-end until he fucking waddles or renames himself Steve fucking redundant. Or dead balls. Whichever one comes off the tongue first.

Anyway, fancy some re-hashed jokes, not only re-hashed from last season, but also from about 20 minutes ago? Sound. Go ‘ed.

Alisson: 8
Cool as fuck, isn’t he? Like the fucking Fonz. If you don’t know who the Fonz is ask your arl fella, or a random arl fella. He was very cool. I mean he was a 40-year-old mechanic with one t-shirt, who lived in his mate’s ma’s garage and didn’t have a bird or that, but you know, you will have to take the arl fellas’ word for it. Fucking hell, made a good save, looked boss, they cut to Mignolet’s big stupid head for one second and then he went berserk and ran away from the ball. Put Si the Mig blinkers on him so he doesn’t ever have to see him, just in case.

Trent: 8
Defended well there, didn’t he? Zaha, if we are all honest with ourselves, is boss, isn’t he? Isn’t he? Reckon he’s had a harder game against Trent than the other way round, you know.

Big Virg: ?
I’m not rating him any more because its always a nine or a 10. You decide, lazy balls. Especially if you’re making an article out of it…
Reads it better than anyone ever, you know. Do they have a Reading World Championship? What are the rules? Do they have to all read the same book? It would have to be a surprise book, maybe a new book? Why are you banging on about books, lad? Speaking of books, I could write one about his two headers in the last minute, in fairness. Best seller.

Joe Gomez: 9
Made a great tackle there when they were in first half. Thought he was just as good as the fella playing next to him, in fairness, which is praise indeed. When Degsy comes back from his jarg stomach injury he will struggle to get back in.

Andy Robbo: 8
Should have done better with that one in the first half. Did alright, set up a few great chances, and defended better than any left back we have had in donkeys’ years. Lashed that one right over the bar there though, didn’t he?

Naby: 8
Oh, lad. That might be the greatest thing I have ever seen. The turn, the ball — if Salah scores, mate, (and he nearly does) it’s probably the greatest goal of our lives yerno. He never though, and then Naby had a mad 10 minutes, probably because he was fuming.

Milner: 7
Gave it away twice in a minute in the first half and then tried to kick Zaha over the moon, which was sound in fairness. Scored a pen. Is right.

Gini: 7
He was good first half, if a little slow in possession, but then ghosted into the shadows second half, until he re-appeared like he was on a Scooby-Doo in our box to stop their lad scoring late on. Great tackle.
Mo Salah: 8

Lost a point for the Naby miss. Weren’t at his best, but could have scored a hat-trick, won the pen, and got their lad sent off, and then sent Mane through at the end. Absolute golden touch. Grafted as well.

Firmino: 7
Not at his best but still better than most. Ran himself ragged.

Sadio Mane: 8
Say what you want, but there is nothing better than the pay off of a last-minute 2-0, fella. Sadio there was amazing, the strength the pace, the power, the persistence, the this that and the other. Fucking is right, lad.

SUBS
Henderson: 9
Come on when we were stretched for five and boxed us, made it look easy. A captain’s cameo.

Lallana: ?
Hmm, head like a badger. Gave away a free kick.

Sturridge: ?
Came on after 94 minutes, lad. Come on. Only putting it here so you don’t moan.
 
Not bothering to read all that unfunny pretentious shit. Here's mine (probably also unfunny and pretentious):

Alisson 8 – a perfect game for a GK in a tough away game. Was made to work much harder for his clean sheet than 8 days ago; the free-kick save was excellent (the way ball bent around the wall would have pundits drawing comparisons with Roberto Carlos had it not been saved), I think he had Townsend's shot covered too, safe hands on a couple of hard-hit shots. Controlled the box with a sense of authority and some of the pin-point passes made me just gasp with surprise and delight.

Trent 7 – I don't get the criticism in the match thread. I thought he was much sharper than in the previous game and given that his opponents were Zaha and Van Aanholt I thought he did quite well and never made me miss Clyne, whom I originally wanted to start. The pass to Firmino was delicious – some full-backs would go through a whole season without a top-drawer pass like that; Trent does it in every game. He is almost like a playmaker, a Jorghino type who just happens to be situated on the wing.
Gomez 7 – it's far easier to play next a commanding partner like VVD, but Gomez played his part well, despite Benteke trying to get closer to him all the time. Clearly was determined not to give away unnecessary free-kicks, which was one criticism of his performance from the West Ham game, even if it meant not challenging directly for the ball, but instead just making sure the attacker doesn't turn. So far it's kind of refreshing to see a CB who simply follows the directions given by the coaches and experienced partners rather than going off on his own trying to prove he's the "best defender in the world."
Van Dijk 8.5 MOM – what a difference a commanding, ball-playing, physical CB makes! United, Arsenal, Chelsea and even Man City all wish they had someone like him, but they don't and we do. This feels strange, but good.
Robertson 7.5 – started the season in excellent form, typically industrious and useful both in attack and defense, everything a modern left-back should be. This also feels strange, but good.

Wijnaldum 6.5 – one of those games where Gini had to sacrifice his attacking game just to guard space against the counter and that's exactly what he did. Moved the ball noticeably quicker and with more purpose than last season, although overall his distribution is still a bit worse than Hendo and (probably) Fabinho.
Milner 7 – not super-human like last week, but still a very solid performance; like Wijnaldum also had to sacrifice some flair for solidity given that he was tasked with helping out Trent against Palace's biggest attacking threats. Penalty was never in doubt.
Keita 7.5 – I agree with @gkmacca that he hasn't put in a complete performance yet, but the signs are all very good. I think he was better than last week; other players are starting to trust him to run our offensive game and every time he has the ball you expect something interesting. He actually reminds me of Pogba in his Juventus days: solid work-rate and athleticism throughout with sparks of genuine class and at least one Youtube moment.

Salah 7 – it feels weird when he doesn't score every time he gets the ball in a dangerous position, but I think he is in a similar place to the beginning of last season when he was commended for "getting into scoring positions consistently" with the caveat of "not being a clinical finisher" (ha!). Objectively, a return of a goal and 2 assists (including the penalty) and getting a man sent off for a professional foul in the first couple of games of the season is perfectly good and we all know he has another level or two once he truly gets into a groove.
Firmino 6.5 – still a week or two behind others in fitness, which is why it was probably important for Klopp to stretch him to 90 minutes. Even at 70% of his physical capacity was very useful holding the ball up with his neat footwork and stringing counter-attacking moves along.
Mane 7 – it was never going to be easy against one of the sharpest and most athletic defenders in the league in Wan-Bissaka, but Mane also made the youngster's day rather unpleasant. I can feel it's going to be a good season for Sadio; his decision-making and movement is as fluid as ever and even a defense as well-drilled and physical as Palace's couldn't quite contain him for 92 minutes.

SUBS:
Henderson 7 – added energy and quicker ball movement to the midfield, once again a good cameo which will probably see him start next week.
Lallana n/a – did his job to keep possession in the closing stages, but one stupid foul could have cost us. Fortunately it was the opposite – the resulting free-kick led to the Palace corner from which we scored on a break-away.
Sturridge n/a

Klopp – unlike Mourinho, made sure " the attitude was right." We approached Palace with respect, but not a iota of fear and showed patience at 0:0 and composure at 1:0. After Palace started the 2nd half brightly, we were able to take the sting out of the game with long periods of possession, which is the way top sides should hold on to a lead. Shaq and Studge will be disappointed not to get meaningful minutes, but it was probably more important to stretch the starting front 3 physically to get them into a peak condition faster.
 
Last edited:
Allison 7
TAA 5
Gomez 7
VVD 8
Robertson 7
Gini 7
Keita 7
Milner 7
Mane 8
Salah 7
Firmino 7

Subs
Hendo 7

Here's what Klopp had to say about our fullbacks after the game:
“It was not a brilliant performance – our full-backs can play 70 or 80% better – but I’m very happy with the result,” Klopp told Sky Sports.
 
Interesting how differently people percieve the game ay?
Alisson - 7
Trent - 6
Virgil - 9 motm easily
Gomez - 7
Robertson - 8

Wijnaldum - 6
Milner - 7
Keita - 7

Salah - 6
Firmino - 6
Mane - 7

Extra points to Mane and Milner for the goals.

Ive set these lads to a high standard now and only virg and andy came close to top form for me. The rest above average
 
  • Liverpool won their 34th Premier League game played on a Monday - only Man Utd (43) and Arsenal (36) have more victories.

Interesting given the negativity.
 
Oncy said:
  • Liverpool won their 34th Premier League game played on a Monday - only Man Utd (43) and Arsenal (36) have more victories.
Interesting given the negativity.
Click to expand...

Nah. You have boxing days and xmas etc games played on random mondays. Come with some real stats about cold windy monday nights in Stoke and you will ser what it is about.
 
The most shocking thing I read in the OP was that Jon uses an iPhone ! WTF.

EDIT. Oh not his ratings but Ben whoever. Sorry FFF !
 
Last edited:
Alisson 7

Trent 6
Virgil 9
Gomez 8
Robbo 7

Milner 7
Gini 7
Keita 7

Mane 8
Salah 7
Bobby 7
 
Allison 8 The extra point is for incredible distribution which makes everyone's job easier and launched a few attacks. He'll get an assist this season (there were only two in the PL by keepers last season).

TAA 7 Kept Zaha, Van A and everyone else quiet while making a fine contribution going forward. Crossing still as generally shite as last week - will and can improve. Anyone giving him a 5 is fucking insane, biased or both.

Gomez 7.5 Stormer, will keep Lovren out at this level.

VvD 9 MotM. Nothing else to say. I'm using Carra's assessment ... Colossus.

Robertson 7 I wasn't as impressed as some here. Mistakes at both ends but I wouldn't change him for any other LB in the PL (except for Mendy).

Gini 7.5 I'm surprised at the lack of appreciation here. Did a great job in knitting it all together. Ahead of Milner and Keita in that regard.

Keita 8 Not a complete, or as good as, a performance as last week with a few mistakes but still creates attacks by slipping tackles and going past people and his stats in this game (winning the ball back - 8 times + one interception ) make impressive reading. Going to have an awesome season.

Milner 6.5 Not a patch on last week but still indispensable to the team.

Mane 8 Superb again. How come some people are not valuing the zillions of times he ghosted past the opposition (and impressively kept possession) or spread the ball from wing to wing ? I thought he had a really really good game and the way he kept his balance and touch to take the ball around the keeper for his goal ....

Salah 7 On another day could have had 4 or 5. On another day he will.

Firmino 6.5 The glue, even when clearly not at 100% in terms of either fitness or touch (still showed some great control). Ran himself into the ground.

Klopp 8 - surprised he kept the same team. Kudos for not giving in to the probable temptation to include Hendo, Clyne or Fabinho. And even keeping tw of them out of the squad ! Loses a point for not bringing on Shaqiri.

Subs
Hendo 7 - kept us going and pushing forward. Distributed the ball well
Lallana N/A
Studge N/A
 
TAA a 5? Hmmmm ... if that's solely because he didn't do enough in the attacking 3rd, that's harsh. If that's because of his defensive work, what on earth did he do wrong bar one foul on Zaha on a 1v1 breakaway? Boring.
 
Insignificance said:
Haha. Dreamy and Modo were going all day about SuperClyne and ends up rating Trent with 5 after keeping Zaha quite.

And that marks the end of whatever credibility you guys still had.

Curious though why it was as high as 5.
Click to expand...

Quite. Imagine spending all prematch championing Clyne to start as we needed to sacrifice TAAs attacking ability for a more "defensively solid" full back, to then go and mark down TAA because he misplaced a few crosses whilst giving the very solid defensive performance you wanted in the first place, that's some agenda level horseshit.
 
Alisson 8

Trent 6.5
Virgil 8
Gomez 8
Robbo 6.5

Milner 7
Gini 7
Keita 7

Mane 8.5
Salah 7
Bobby 6

Ground out a great result but looked sloppy in parts. That'll do, though
 
TAA had Zaha to contend with and did well, it was a game where his defensive side outweighed his attacking qualities, when many were arguing Clyne was a safer bet. His crossing was admittedly off but he was also a whisker away from a brilliant assist late on, for Firmino.

I'd have given him a 7, only because he lost points for poor deliveries when in good positions, which isn't really like him. A 5 Modo? I know you've been banging the "Clyne is better" drum forever, but fuck me.
 
mark1975 said:
A 5 Modo? I know you've been banging the "Clyne is better" drum forever, but fuck me.
Click to expand...

It's incredible really - Clyne who struggles to add anything in the attacking 3rd on a regular day to replace TAA, who's getting low ratings for now doing enough in the attacking 3rd! He was solid defensively - I asked in the match thread what he did wrong defensively bar that one foul on Zaha on the 1v1 breakaway and no one responded ... Heck, Modo brings up a quote from Klopp about our fullbacks needing to do better ... but it's offensively as both TAA & Robbo could have done more. Let's be patient though, once Hendo starts a few games, there will be less focus on TAA! 😉
 
Insignificance said:
Haha. Dreamy and Modo were going all day about SuperClyne and ends up rating Trent with 5 after keeping Zaha quite.

And that marks the end of whatever credibility you guys still had.

Curious though why it was as high as 5.
Click to expand...
Keeping Zaha quiet? What game did you watch? Meyer was about an inch from scoring from a Zaha cross in the dying minutes of the game.
Trent didn't stop Zaha it was mainly Gomez.
 
Insignificance said:
Haha. Dreamy and Modo were going all day about SuperClyne and ends up rating Trent with 5 after keeping Zaha quite.

And that marks the end of whatever credibility you guys still had.

Curious though why it was as high as 5.
Click to expand...

For me 6 is average as in the level I expect every week.

He was below that for me without being a disaster so 5 was fair.

Salah got a 7 for example. He wasn't at his best but he was involved in all key moments.

Assisted both goals, had a man sent off and had a great header tipped over.
 
Oncy said:
  • Liverpool won their 34th Premier League game played on a Monday - only Man Utd (43) and Arsenal (36) have more victories.

Interesting given the negativity.
Click to expand...

I'd like to see Monday evening stats.

We've won loads of them in the Monday daytime fixtures I reckon.
 
tombrown said:
If you focus on the numbers in Ben Johnson's ratings then you have missed the point by further than you have emigrated. Its like complaining that a Spike Milligan poem lacks realism.
Click to expand...
Apologies, I left the Ben Shepard by-line in there thinking it'd make it more obvious.

Plus I rarely use the word 'lad' that much in a an entire week, & I'm not that funny either, sadly.
 
Modo said:
Keeping Zaha quiet? What game did you watch? Meyer was about an inch from scoring from a Zaha cross in the dying minutes of the game.
Trent didn't stop Zaha it was mainly Gomez.
Click to expand...

I'm amazed you're giving him such a hard time - right, and the opportunities that came from Robbo's side?
Say TAA wasn't good enough attacking - agree, but if Clyne had played like that defensively, you'd be happy ...
I'm just trying to figure out what TAA or Clyne has done ...
 
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