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A Short History of Transactions in Lithuanian

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ILD said:
If ya don't mind us asking, how much did ya get Jon? What a thread. Defo one for the Vault.

I bet Red Astaire has already sold the story to ITV the swine.
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Only in his version Jon numbers gets kidnapped but is rescued by a slightly camp man wearing a LFC top.

I've never met him, but I get the impression Red Astaire is slightly camp. Possibly full on camp, where you're not sure if he's gay or not.
 
athensruairi said:
Check the serial number on the notes and see if they're sequential.

I've no idea if that's of any use, but they always ask for non-sequential serial numbers in the movies.
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That's because the police can then flag all notes between the first & last serial numbers handed over. Much more work & less likely they'll have flagged a bunch of random numbers.

It's moot now though, I believe they use an invisible (to the naked eye) tracking dye that's impossible to remove from the note to perform the same job.
 
FoxForceFive said:
That's because the police can then flag all notes between the first & last serial numbers handed over. Much more work & less likely they'll have flagged a bunch of random numbers.

It's moot now though, I believe they use an invisible (to the naked eye) tracking dye that's impossible to remove from the note to perform the same job.
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Who checks the serial numbers though? The banks?
 
Yep, that was the idea. Meant if anyone got illicit funds they couldn't just pop them into an account.

Pretty sure they're still checked automatically.
 
athensruairi said:
Only in his version Jon numbers gets kidnapped but is rescued by a slightly camp man wearing a LFC top.

I've never met him, but I get the impression Red Astaire is slightly camp. Possibly full on camp, where you're not sure if he's gay or not.
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I have always pictured him as slightly flamboyant and exotic.

I think it's a good thing myself.
 
ILD said:
If ya don't mind us asking, how much did ya get Jon? What a thread. Defo one for the Vault.

I bet Red Astaire has already sold the story to ITV the swine.
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It's nothing huge, but a lot more than I'd have got by claiming on insurance. Should get me a decent upgrade on the next car.
 
What if this is all a part of Captain Lithuanian's sick plan to taunt Jon, whilst he currently has him locked up and tied down in his cabin with his pet Iguana Dr Feelgood? We owe it to Jon to see through this masquerade, and get to the bottom of this. #FollowTheNumbers
 
The only thing this thread is missing is an appropriate use of the word "haberdashery".

I have great faith Athens will fix this.
 
Could Jon (numbers) have stumbled upon a black market in haberdashery run by Lithuanian truckers.
 
Brilliant story, Jon.

Although it would've been better if you didn't reply to the thread for about a week, just to keep us all in suspense.
 
jon545660 said:
The slightly longer version:

I get to the 2nd motorway service station and park in the busiest part I can find. No sign of the lorry. This time I’m on my own as my mate has gone home.

I have a walk around the back as that’s where the lorry park is and I can see a truck with the right company name, so over I go.

By this time it’s semi-dark and the lorry park is pretty isolated. The driver is in his cabin and opens the door and beckons me in. At this point I seriously consider cutting my losses and getting the hell out of dodge. I think ‘fuck it, I’ve come this far’ and climb up into the lorry cabin. This will sound like I’m making it up, but I swear the driver has got a 70’s handlebar mustache.

I leave the lorry door open and I’ve got one leg hanging out the door just in case I need to make a quick exit. He asks to see some ID. I tell him I haven’t got any. Instead I show him my phone and some emails from the Lithuanian lawyer. He seems satisfied.

He pulls out a wad of cash and I start counting it. All the while I’ve got one eye on him and I’m ready to spring out the open door if there are any sudden movements. The cash seems all there so I shake his hand, jump out pretty sharpish and hot-foot it to my car.

I have learnt from this experience that I’m not suited to a life of crime. Walter White I am not.
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I'm impressed, but not fooled.

Pasakykite mums, kur Jon yra.
 
Ha ha! Just finished - What a boss thread. Best one in ages. Vault this mofo. Nice one Jon all the numbers! Don't worry when I write this I'll stick in a 'based on a true story' pretext - Change the main character name to Ruairi and only have the handlebar moustached Lithuanian fondle him a little before he hands over the cash. 🥷
 
An English man named Ruairi? No one would believe it.

I bet someone finds an English man called Ruairi now...
 
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