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Benteke - BOOOOOO the puns

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by mxtravs, May 23, 2015.

  1. Leo

    Leo Curse the day Banned

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    He's big.
    From Brussels.
    He wants to squeeze your muscles.
    Benteke Benteke.
     
  2. goodspam

    goodspam Very Active Member

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    Christian, welcome to Liverpool Football Club. How does it feel to have signed?
    I'm very happy to be here and I would like to thank the owners, Ian [Ayre] and of course the manager for their massive effort to bring me here.
    We're speaking literally minutes after you put pen to paper, what would you say is your overwhelming emotion?
    It's hard to show your emotion when you've just come from doing something [like this] but of course I am very happy.
    Why was Liverpool the right club for you?
    I think it was the right club for me because I had a good chat with the manager and I wanted to be part of his project.
    You've scored several times at Anfield for Aston Villa in the last couple of years, what do you imagine it will be like running out in front of the home supporters in the red of Liverpool?
    I think when I came here with Aston Villa [it was] a great feeling to play at Anfield. Now, to be in the home shirt is going to be an exciting feeling.
    What do you know about Liverpool Football Club?
    I know Liverpool is a big story. They've won [many] league titles and the Champions League five times and of course the UEFA Cup and a lot of trophies. I know it's a big club.
    You're the seventh signing the club has made this summer, what is your take on the strength of the squad you're joining?
    I think there are quality players, a lot of good players with big names of course. I'm happy to be part of this team and will [try] to help this team reach its goals.
    How much are you looking forward to meeting up with your teammates in the final few weeks of pre-season?
    I'm very excited. I want to meet them and work with them, of course.
    You can also look forward to working with your Belgium international colleagues Simon Mignolet and Divock Origi - have you spoken to them in recent days about life at Liverpool?
    Not yet but I will just wait to see them and hopefully they are going to help me!
    Since you came to England you've developed into one of the Barclays Premier League's top forwards but how would you describe yourself as a striker?
    It's hard to speak about yourself. I prefer other people to speak about me.
    You're still only 24, do you feel you can develop and become an even better player at Liverpool?
    Yeah of course. I want to be the best and I want to reach the best of myself.
    What do you hope to actually achieve here at this football club?
    I came here to win trophies. I came here to reach some great goals with the team.
    What would you say motivates you as a footballer?
    It's about winning trophies. It's about doing something in [my] career I can maybe explain to my son or my kids what I did.
    As you sit here now having just signed for this club what are you looking forward to most?
    There's a lot of feelings. I want first to meet my new teammates and I want to work with the manager and his staff.
    Finally, what would you say was your message to supporters in Liverpool and all over the world who'll be wishing you every success in a red shirt?
    I'm very happy to be part of the Liverpool family now and I will do everything to make them happy and work hard for them and my teammates.
     
    Markeh likes this.
  3. white-sox

    white-sox Well-Known Member

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    Insightful.
     
  4. Rafiagra

    Rafiagra Very Active Member

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    Mr Charisma. Sounds like Brendan's waffled him into submission
     
  5. vikas

    vikas Active Member

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    This mentions all of his goals for Villa apart from headers, free-kicks and pennos. Does look like an ice cold finisher to be fair, and seems to be very good at completely deceiving most keepers on shot placement.
     
  6. dantes

    dantes Very Well-Known Member

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    Fucks sake. 10 defenders will need to be brutally sacrificed at his hands before I can forgive his transfer fee.
     
  7. Buddha

    Buddha Well-Known Member

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    Au contraire, I reckon he's going to be A BIG FUCKING GOAL-SCORING MONSTER HIT
     
  8. FoxForceFive

    FoxForceFive Administrator Administrator

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    I'd be fucking made up if the Kop were singing that next season.
     
  9. Dreambeliever

    Dreambeliever From Doubter to Believer Member

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    We are going to be awesome at counter attacks next year with Bentekken
     
  10. Hansern

    Hansern SCM Addict Member

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    Good luck to him!

    Think he'll become a fan favourite. Destroying centre backs and scoring goals against the shits and mancs.
    Cant wait for the season to start now.
     
  11. Oncy

    Oncy Guest

    Do we think thats it now for signings?
    Weve only spent about 25m net.
    Benteke 32m
    Firmino 29m
    Clyne 12m
    Gomez 3.5m

    Minus
    Raheem 49m
    Coates 4m
    Aspas 4.5m
     
  12. Oncy

    Oncy Guest

    Like I said.
     
    Fabio and FoxForceFive like this.
  13. peekay

    peekay Very Well-Known Member

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    It looks like he got a little bit too excited on joining us

    [​IMG]
     
    iseered, hmmmmm1, nealmac and 4 others like this.
  14. FoxForceFive

    FoxForceFive Administrator Administrator

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    Jizzed all over his jeans & also vandalised a wall with his twitter handle. Poor start lid.
     
  15. Skullflower

    Skullflower Part of the Furniture Member

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    He's found the clit on our badge
     
    iseered, C/O, Fabio and 3 others like this.
  16. Skullflower

    Skullflower Part of the Furniture Member

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    He's big, he's red, his dick hangs out the bed

    Benteke
     
    iseered, C/O, ILD and 5 others like this.
  17. juniormember

    juniormember Very Well-Known Member

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    Was against this signing but fuck it.
    He's going to score a shit load and become top scorer in the league.
    At least our squad is looking top 4 material now.
     
    Gary25 likes this.
  18. 6TimesaRed

    6TimesaRed Not a Bot.... Administrator

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  19. hamstrung_pigeon

    hamstrung_pigeon Well-Known Member

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    Except he was born in Congo, and emigrated to Liege where he played youth football...
     
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  20. juniormember

    juniormember Very Well-Known Member

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    Being from Tokyo, I remember finding it pretty amusing living in Liverpool and driving into town and seeing Tokyo Joe's Best Chinese Takeaway.
     
    Judge Jules likes this.

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