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Torres 5th in new Player World Rankings

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Frogfish

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Castrol, the lubricants giant, has unveiled a new ranking system of the world's best players, billed as 'the world's first truly objective football rankings system.'

'Castrol has applied the same expertise they apply to the development of their oils to create the Castrol Rankings – using objective analysis and highly advanced technology to measure every pass, every tackle and every single move of over 2000 players and games every year,' claims Castrol in its press release, adding the claim that: 'It will, at last, draw a line under the age-old debate about who are the best performing players.'

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Liverpool's Fernando Torres is the English Premier League's top-ranked player, in fifth, while the top English player is Frank Lampard, in 14th. Manchester United's Wayne Rooney is ranked joint 31st with Liverpool's Yossi Benayoun, behind the likes of Florent Malouda and Luca Toni.

Any Manchester United fans worried that Rooney's surprisingly low position might be a reflection on their club can take solace in the fact that Jonny Evans - joint 75th with Rio Ferdinand - comfortably outperforms Real Madrid star Kaka and Manchester City's Robinho.

'Kaka is one of the biggest names not to feature towards the top of the Castrol Rankings with the Real Madrid star languishing in 85th place,' explains the company. 'The Brazilian did net 16 goals for AC Milan in 2008-09, but seven of those were from the penalty spot. And while he scored two league goals for Real Madrid in the first two months, including one penalty, he has only fired in five shots on target in six matches.

'Shots on target are essential when it comes to scoring points in the Castrol Rankings. Indeed, they are strongly associated with goals – the more shots on goal you get, the more goals you get. In the case of penalties, there is a 80% chance to score while that chance is lower in open play. This is why spot kicks are less rewarded than other types of goals, which explains Kaka's ranking.'

Cristiano Ronaldo, who has a personal endorsement deal with Castrol, is ranked in third place, behind Thierry Henry and Lionel Messi. "The Castrol Rankings is the ranking that every player wants to top," said Ronaldo on the release of the rankings. "If you can be number one on the Castrol Rankings there can be no arguments, as it is based on fact, not opinion. That's why I'm aiming for the number one spot – to prove I'm the best!"
 
IS henry justifiably still in the top 3? A great player i know, but top 3 still?
 
Well if these rankings are as objective as they say they are, then I guess he is well worth his spot in the top 3!
 
[quote author=Bristow link=topic=36849.msg975338#msg975338 date=1256986165]
Well if these rankings are as objective as they say they are, then I guess he is well worth his spot in the top 3!
[/quote]

I like that answer!
 
Hillarious to pull out that Henry thread from a season back that said he was well past it - and not what Liverpool needed, when we were heavily linked.

Those same people would probably bite Pep's balls off if he was offered to us today.
 
Yeah, well done Castrol.

Never again will I have a debate about who is the better player, I'll simply pull out my phone, go to the Castrol league & say, look, "Castrol says so, so of course Jonny fucking Evans is better than Kaka, you tit."

Nice one Castrol.

Tell you one thing, I'll be asking them what their 85th best fucking oil is & be buying that one for my car.
 
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