Thickest Footballer ever??

[Asbo]

Its about a footballer but wasn't sure if it should be in general move if you have too!



Footballer claims he was chased by a ghost
If you asked a policeman about the excuses people use, they would probably tell you that they have heard them all.

But a Peruvian footballer looks like he might have come up with a completely new one.

Carlos 'Kukin' Flores, a midfield star with Inti Gas Deportes, told police he was being chased by a ghost when he was stopped for running naked through the streets.

Flores, who in the past has admitted to having issues with cocaine, eventually admitted that he had been "engaging with dirty ladies" and that he came up with the ghost line to try and hide the truth from his wife.

Flores said: "I didn't want my wife to be suspicious about ladies so I just told her it was a ghost. She failed to believe me."

The midfielder also denied the incident had anything to do with his previous cocaine problems, he added: "This was nothing like that. I just had a bad day."

 

[Ryan]

Jermaine.
Pennant.

 

[manwithnoname]

Stephen Ireland
Robbie Savage
Jason McAteer
Scott Carson
Jermaine Defoe
David Beckham
That parrot-faced bluenose defender cunt whatsisname?

 

[Ryan]

Hibbert?

 

[Skullflower]

there was a guy on tv the other day who used to play for the mancs and now plays lower league. he was black. he may have actually been mentally retarded, though, but i didn't catch the beginning and it wasn't mentioned.

 

[manwithnoname]

No no, that blert who played for Bolton I think, umm, Alan Stubbs, that's it, sorry I went blank for a sec

 

[Asbo]

I can't really think any of them would be seen running down from the back of the Royal naked saying "I'm being chased by a ghost" though.

The prozzie must have got him to strip naked and her pimp must've put the fright of god into him.

 

[Spionkop69]

Duncan Ferguson - you wonder why he never did interviews?

 

[Hansern]

Joey Barton certainly deserves a mention..

 

[Judge Jules]

Gabriel Agbonlahor. I wouldn't say he was stupid, but he reckons Sheffield Wednesday is a Bank Holiday.

 

[Comical Aly]

[quote author=Skullflower link=topic=37956.msg1015331#msg1015331 date=1260990053]
there was a guy on tv the other day who used to play for the mancs and now plays lower league. he was black. he may have actually been mentally retarded, though, but i didn't catch the beginning and it wasn't mentioned.
[/quote]

Andy Cole? He's at least a nominee.

 

[Bernowatson]

Wasnt Biscan meant to be pretty thick?

Downstairs not up.

 

[El Pistolero]

Has to go to McAteer

"he asked for his pizza to be cut into four and not eight slices as he wasn't that hungry"

"he once tried to open the fire exit on a plane 'to let a bit of fresh air in"

"On a flight back from a World Cup qualifier in Latvia or some such place, he asked a teammate why the flight over had taken five hours, but the one back would only take two hours. He was perfectly happy with the answer: 'This pilot knows a short cut'.

"A further story of Mr McAteer's intelligence told by Neil Ruddock," and now told by Steve Hunt, "was when he'd bought himself a very posh new car that for some reason allowed him to lock his keys in the car and with the engine running. After calling out the police to help him, one of said boys in blue asked Jason to go into the house and bring them out a coat anger ... you guessed it, boy genius brought a wooden one back out!"

"can I relate the story of when Jason McAteer applied to get a platinum credit card?" You may. "This was back when he was at Liverpool. Having filled out the name of his employer on the application form, he then turned to a team mate in some confusion: "What should I put down for Position? I'd say I was naturally central midfield, but I'm playing right wing-back at the moment."

 

[Richey]

You can't get many footballers, or anyone in any profession really, who are as fucking thick as Gazza.

 

[gareth_thomas]

anybody see Steve McLaren putting on a dutch accent during an interview.. what the hell was that.

i remember buying.. 'shoot' magazine when i was younger and it having a few pages dedicated to the idiots of the footballing world and their idiotic quotes. Still... these quotes werent anywhere near as stupid as those from the mouth of a person who was probably the most powerful man in the world..

still makes me cringe.

 

[Holle]

Lee Bowyer?

 

[Pesam]

This is like shooting fish in a barrel, naming intelligent footballers would be far more challenging. I can think of quite a few who can do interviews without mis-pronouncing every other word and who use correct syntax but to actually think of one who could be deemed intelligent.................

 

[Holle]

I remember an interview with Andreas Moller when he was asked if he would consider a move abroad and his preferred destination.

His answer was 'I don't care if it's Milan or Madrid as long as it's Italy.'

 

[Richey]

[quote author=Pesam link=topic=37956.msg1015980#msg1015980 date=1261043640]
This is like shooting fish in a barrel, naming intelligent footballers would be far more challenging. I can think of quite a few who can do interviews without mis-pronouncing every other word and who use correct syntax but to actually think of one who could be deemed intelligent.................
[/quote]

Exactly. We're talking about a World where having an O'level would probably earn you a nickname like 'the professor'

 

[Whaddapie]

Wasn't Rob Jones a bit on the thick side too?

And didn't Trigger once, upon seeing Jimmy White walk into the club he was at, yell "180!" across the room at him?

 

[Judge Jules]

It's true about Rob Jones. Wasn't his nickname some variation of "Trigger" too?

What's strange about McAteer though is the way he comes across in interviews now, where (whenever I hear him anyway) he sound fluent and - dare I say it - intelligent, really quite an impressive talker about the game. I can't help wondering if he was putting on an act before, or if he's just grown up a lot in recent years.

 

[Asbo]

He admitted in his 'favorite match' interview it was all an act.

 

[Richey]

[quote author=Judge Jules link=topic=37956.msg1016114#msg1016114 date=1261062364]
It's true about Rob Jones. Wasn't his nickname some variation of "Trigger" too?

What's strange about McAteer though is the way he comes across in interviews now, where (whenever I hear him anyway) he sound fluent and - dare I say it - intelligent, really quite an impressive talker about the game. I can't help wondering if he was putting on an act before, or if he's just grown up a lot in recent years.
[/quote]

I think Rob Jones was trigger and then when McAteer signed he got called Dave.

It is probably just that he has grown up, but also even if he is a bit thick he should be able to talk with some intelligence about football at least.

 

[Whaddapie]

[quote author=Richey link=topic=37956.msg1016140#msg1016140 date=1261064588]

I think Rob Jones was trigger and then when McAteer signed he got called Dave.

[/quote]

I thought he got called "Double Trigger"!

 

[Richey]

I'm pretty sure it was Dave but I could be wrong.

 

[Avmenon]

My favourite was when Beckham was asked whether he considered himself 'volatile'?

He said yes as he could play in a variety of positions in any formation required.

 

[Judge Jules]

;D

 

[keniget]

[quote author=Avmenon link=topic=37956.msg1016553#msg1016553 date=1261107037]
My favourite was when Beckham was asked whether he considered himself 'volatile'?

He said yes as he could play in a variety of positions in any formation required.
[/quote]

Haha nice.

 

[darkstarexodus]

or possibly

Surely these are among the thickest players.

 

[jexykrodic]

Jamie Redknapp. It's a good job he's a looker, because his opinion during matches is pure shite. And why does he follow every statement with "....Richard"; we know Richard Keys is in the studio with you, you dick. Does he say it so he doesn't forget the hairy twats name? Mystifying.