Shamelessy stolen and paraphrased from the 'general chat' thread of a different forum I frequent.
I say 'paraphrased' because their thread includes some pretty fucked up and downright bizarre stories.
Hoping we don't reach their weird lows, just some revisionist history of a time when you felt pretty low.
Here goes...
Just seven days after splitting with my ex of four years, I found myself on a night out with my mates and decided early doors that I'd make my move and try and have my wicked way with my mate's bird's flat mate.
After some of the standard flirting and drink buying it was pretty obvious I was in there, so me, my mate and the two girls headed back to their flat. It was a grotty and small place that was freezing cold, and this was in January.
*scenes missing.
Next morning woke up in a stingy one bedroom flat in one of the roughest areas in the city, £20 odd taxi fare way from where I lived at five to seven in the morning, next to some random Swedish bird (don't be fooled by the nationality, she wasn't great).
She was meant to be in work for seven and he her boss waiting for her outside in the car, I was unceremoniously kicked out as she literally (and I mean literally) woke up, put her work uniform on, and went straight to work without so much as a brush of the hair or teeth, or a splash of water on the face. Classy girl.
Meanwhile I had to find my way home with the little budget I had left over from the night before.
Worst thing was, this happened another two times.
Not my finest hour. Still - made it home in time for MOTD repeat and a derby game to look forward to after some kip. The 2-2 draw btw.
I say 'paraphrased' because their thread includes some pretty fucked up and downright bizarre stories.
Hoping we don't reach their weird lows, just some revisionist history of a time when you felt pretty low.
Here goes...
Just seven days after splitting with my ex of four years, I found myself on a night out with my mates and decided early doors that I'd make my move and try and have my wicked way with my mate's bird's flat mate.
After some of the standard flirting and drink buying it was pretty obvious I was in there, so me, my mate and the two girls headed back to their flat. It was a grotty and small place that was freezing cold, and this was in January.
*scenes missing.
Next morning woke up in a stingy one bedroom flat in one of the roughest areas in the city, £20 odd taxi fare way from where I lived at five to seven in the morning, next to some random Swedish bird (don't be fooled by the nationality, she wasn't great).
She was meant to be in work for seven and he her boss waiting for her outside in the car, I was unceremoniously kicked out as she literally (and I mean literally) woke up, put her work uniform on, and went straight to work without so much as a brush of the hair or teeth, or a splash of water on the face. Classy girl.
Meanwhile I had to find my way home with the little budget I had left over from the night before.
Worst thing was, this happened another two times.
Not my finest hour. Still - made it home in time for MOTD repeat and a derby game to look forward to after some kip. The 2-2 draw btw.
