The Ex Factor

[Robonoodle]

Many moons ago in Tokyo I broke up with the girl of my dreams. I had invested so much in a future that didn't happen (she legged it with an American investment banker with dice cufflinks - dice already!) that I was battered and rudderless for ages. Awful.

So, here we are as a club having lost a series of world class exes over the years (Gerrard, Carra, Torres, Suarez, Mascher, Xabi, Souness, Kenny and so on for 20 years.) that, for a while at least, dragged us along, inspired the players around them and gave the fans hope. There always seemed to be another hero coming through to keep us going.

However, I look at our current playing staff and I can see some very good players, some good players and some bang-average ones too, but to my eyes there are no heroes. This is what worries me about our current squad, while we have some talent, we have no winners, no warriors, no Bravehearts, no one who can fight us back into a game. The Stoke and WHU games in particular pissed me off not so much by the scoreline, but for the gutless capitulation, but there were others too.

Tippy tappy is all very well, high-energy pressing games are dandy, but without a giant in the squad, I really can't see how we are going to make this season any better than last. Of all the players I feel we should have brought in over the summer, not bringing in someone (in any position) with stature and gravitas was a mistake. We seem to be well-stocked with potential, but what we really needed to do was to break the bank for a here and now hero.

Tekkers, Coutinho, Milner, Hendo can all make a difference, but are they big enough? I'm not so sure.

 

[Best Believe It]

 

[Gerry_A_Trick]

I guess the counter argument to that is that in spite of all the heroes we've had in the past 25 years, none of them have been able to help us win the league. So maybe we need less of the obvious heroes, and more grafters. We've tended to rely on someone to drag us out of a bad situation, which has led to a reliance on them, which is counter productive when they're not up to it, as we've seen with Gerrard over the past few years. In an ideal scenario, you don't rely on one or two players, anyone in the team should be capable of it, as many players, of questionable ability, in United's teams have proven over the years.

 

[white-sox]

Yeah we are fairly shite... So......
Was the girl Japanese?
How long had you been together?
Do you ever speak now?
Tell us more about this investor? Typical slime ball?

 

[Robonoodle]

Yeah we are fairly shite... So......
Was the girl Japanese?
> No, Thai Chinese
How long had you been together?
> 18 months
Do you ever speak now?
> Hahahahahahaha no
Tell us more about this investor? Typical slime ball?
>He was an American investment banker with dice cufflinks (1 #6 and 1 #1) so, yes. He also had a monthly rent allowance that was 4 x times my salary and unlimited business class travel. I'm not sure it was all this or his razor sharp wit that got him the prize. I'm ok now though, thanks.

 

[Insignificance]

I see you Call it "I broke up With her"... but the story tells us she dumped you?

 

[Frogfish]

God I loved the Stranglers ! Remember going to see them in the Cavern (or was that The Skids ? Damn memory).

 

[Frogfish]

Another good title though. I'm going to PM Robonoodle for tips in future whenever I want to start a thread.

 

[white-sox]

I know nothing about you but I am sure she was the loser in the long term!! He probably cheated on her and now she's living in a trailer park with his two kids that he no longer thinks about since he hooked up with a new, younger, hotter version.

 

[Robonoodle]

I see you Call it "I broke up With her"... but the story tells us she dumped you?

For goodness sake leave what's left of my pride man. Anyway, heroes...

 

[Robonoodle]

I guess the counter argument to that is that in spite of all the heroes we've had in the past 25 years, none of them have been able to help us win the league. So maybe we need less of the obvious heroes, and more grafters. We've tended to rely on someone to drag us out of a bad situation, which has led to a reliance on them, which is counter productive when they're not up to it, as we've seen with Gerrard over the past few years. In an ideal scenario, you don't rely on one or two players, anyone in the team should be capable of it, as many players, of questionable ability, in United's teams have proven over the years.

I get where you are coming from, but the reason we didn't win was possibly more to do with the level of mediocrity in the team (though we came within touching distance a couple of times). Also, while having grafters is essential, it's not the be all and end all. If you look at recent title winning teams there was always a "talisman" (how I hate that word), someone who would glue it all together. I'm not suggesting we rely on them as we have in the past, but I do think we need that kind of quality in the spine of the team. At the moment, i just don't see it.

 

[Robonoodle]

I know nothing about you but I am sure she was the loser in the long term!! He probably cheated on her and now she's living in a trailer park with his two kids that he no longer thinks about since he hooked up with a new, younger, hotter version.

You don't know what you've got till it's gone eh? I like the cut of your jib sir. I got dumped in a trailer park in Prestatyn once as part of a stag do. The idiots were so drunk they thought I was the groom. I must say, the residents were quite understanding and even lent me some skiddies, after they took a few pics.

 

[Robonoodle]

Another good title though. I'm going to PM Robonoodle for tips in future whenever I want to start a thread.

I'm here for you Froggy!

 

[Farkmaster]

Wait, in this example you are Liverpool? Oh no! And the investment banker who cuckolded you, appropriately enough, is the richer, more successful, and presumably better looking guy?

But then you go on to say you worry Liverpool aren't going to be fine without some transient ho, who in the analogy is this trifling Thai-Chinese lady. Does this mean you aren't ok? Maybe you need a hug.

Then you need to take a good look at yourself. Did you really show her that much support? No. You frittered away your inheritance on a time share some slick douche sold you and spent your collective savings on a lot of very overpriced male prostitutes, who weren't even that durable. All the while you drunkenly talked about how next year its going to be different, and you love her so much, just as soon as that next paycheck comes in. Your talk of the glory days won her over at first, then she realized you were exactly what that bitch friend of hers said you were.

 

[Robonoodle]

Well, after that shambles today, I stick to my original thought that we have no heroes, no giants, no one with the cojones to go out and stick it to a mediocre Manchester team that were there for the taking. Going forward, there's not a single game in the calendar that looks like a sure fire 3pts.

 

[Robonoodle]

Wait, in this example you are Liverpool? Oh no! And the investment banker who cuckolded you, appropriately enough, is the richer, more successful, and presumably better looking guy?

But then you go on to say you worry Liverpool aren't going to be fine without some transient ho, who in the analogy is this trifling Thai-Chinese lady. Does this mean you aren't ok? Maybe you need a hug.

Then you need to take a good look at yourself. Did you really show her that much support? No. You frittered away your inheritance on a time share some slick douche sold you and spent your collective savings on a lot of very overpriced male prostitutes, who weren't even that durable. All the while you drunkenly talked about how next year its going to be different, and you love her so much, just as soon as that next paycheck comes in. Your talk of the glory days won her over at first, then she realized you were exactly what that bitch friend of hers said you were.

Reading this, I'm reminded of the Truman Show. At least now I have an explanation for the feeling that the drones following me round are not just a coincidence. After today though, I wonder if she might take me back with sympathy in her hearts. After all, trailer parks are not all bad, look at Ffrith Beach.