I badly wanna give this colleague of a mine a nice big cuddle. Shes one of them utter pain in the cock shafts of a person. She has a boyfriend and i bet he's a little skinny faggot, she's on the big side of things an by that i mean shes a big fat fucking turkeytwisterchompinggreasyarsedfuckingjargbellend. Anyone that takes a fucking part time job seriously should get shot. She's that fucking dense she has a post it note on her screen saying "turn of computer". She talks like John Barnes, no sentences, just one big long fast word, with loads of excitement.
Cunt: "HIYAMIKECANYOUHAVEALOOKATTHISFORMEBECAUSEICANTFINDTHEFINGTHEPERSONISASKINGABOUTBUTTHISFINGMIGHTNOTBEWEREAMLOOKINSOCANYOUFIXTHEFING?"
Me: "Whats a fing?"
Cunt: "THEFINGTHATTHELADYONTHEPHONEWANTSTOKNOWABOUTCOSSHECANTFINDTHEFINGONHERFINGSOCANYOUFINDTHEFINGCOSICANTFINDIT?"
Really sorry about this post, it's pointless, but i have the same conversations with her everyday she comes to work, sometimes she leaves her house and realises shes locked her family in so doesn't come in till like 12 and its bliss for the first three hours and also she sometimes gets caught, on the same stretch of road, twice, by speed camera's because "IDIDNTHAVEENUFFTIMETOLEARNFROMTHEFIRSTONE" which results in her getting a fine which is just funny. She might be a nice person but i cant be jibbed finding out, so instead of getting heated an saying "I hate you an i reckon your entire family hate you as well." an then punching her in the cunt I'm letting it out here.
Sorry.
Cunt: "HIYAMIKECANYOUHAVEALOOKATTHISFORMEBECAUSEICANTFINDTHEFINGTHEPERSONISASKINGABOUTBUTTHISFINGMIGHTNOTBEWEREAMLOOKINSOCANYOUFIXTHEFING?"
Me: "Whats a fing?"
Cunt: "THEFINGTHATTHELADYONTHEPHONEWANTSTOKNOWABOUTCOSSHECANTFINDTHEFINGONHERFINGSOCANYOUFINDTHEFINGCOSICANTFINDIT?"
Really sorry about this post, it's pointless, but i have the same conversations with her everyday she comes to work, sometimes she leaves her house and realises shes locked her family in so doesn't come in till like 12 and its bliss for the first three hours and also she sometimes gets caught, on the same stretch of road, twice, by speed camera's because "IDIDNTHAVEENUFFTIMETOLEARNFROMTHEFIRSTONE" which results in her getting a fine which is just funny. She might be a nice person but i cant be jibbed finding out, so instead of getting heated an saying "I hate you an i reckon your entire family hate you as well." an then punching her in the cunt I'm letting it out here.
Sorry.
