What are the best "spur of the moment" type comments you've heard people say? I know a lot of these comments are of a "you had to there" nature, but here's a few I've heard:
While discussing planes and flying in general, myself and a few mates got onto the subject of parachute jumping. One of the guys asked another, "have you ever done a parachute jump?". As quick as a flash, he answered with, "no, but I've zoomed in REALLY fast on Google Earth. I thought it was classic.
Another time, I was at a wedding, and I had my guitar with me so we could have a session later on in the resident's bar. By this stage, of course a lot of pints had been drank and we were all well fucked. After spending the best part of 2 hours lashing out tunes on the guitar, I happened to glance toward the window, and I noticed it was getting bright outside. So I made a comment along the lines of, "I don't believe it, it's bright outside". Without missing a beat, my mate chirped in with, "Jaysus, there's a fair oul stretch in the evenings these days!" It's not to say we all exploded in laughter.
I used to do a small bit of work with a carpenter when I was younger, and myself and my colleague were hard at it, sanding down some doors. Our boss was a right miserable old cunt with no sense of humour whatsoever. Anyway, he came up to us and asked us "how are the doors coming along?" Without even thinking about, my mate replied with "Well Jim Morrison's dead, and I've no idea how the others are getting on". Absolute genius.
So what ones have you heard? I don't mean corny rehearsed crap. I mean pure spur of the moment stuff and witty comebacks.
While discussing planes and flying in general, myself and a few mates got onto the subject of parachute jumping. One of the guys asked another, "have you ever done a parachute jump?". As quick as a flash, he answered with, "no, but I've zoomed in REALLY fast on Google Earth. I thought it was classic.
Another time, I was at a wedding, and I had my guitar with me so we could have a session later on in the resident's bar. By this stage, of course a lot of pints had been drank and we were all well fucked. After spending the best part of 2 hours lashing out tunes on the guitar, I happened to glance toward the window, and I noticed it was getting bright outside. So I made a comment along the lines of, "I don't believe it, it's bright outside". Without missing a beat, my mate chirped in with, "Jaysus, there's a fair oul stretch in the evenings these days!" It's not to say we all exploded in laughter.
I used to do a small bit of work with a carpenter when I was younger, and myself and my colleague were hard at it, sanding down some doors. Our boss was a right miserable old cunt with no sense of humour whatsoever. Anyway, he came up to us and asked us "how are the doors coming along?" Without even thinking about, my mate replied with "Well Jim Morrison's dead, and I've no idea how the others are getting on". Absolute genius.
So what ones have you heard? I don't mean corny rehearsed crap. I mean pure spur of the moment stuff and witty comebacks.
