Perez to be crowned June 1st

[rebel23]

MADRID - Florentino Perez is all set to become the new president of Real Madrid on June 1, according to the website of sports daily AS on Tuesday. He is the only candidate to have provided the bank guarantees to cover 15 per cent of the club's budget (€57m), which is stipulated in the club's rules as a pre-requisite for all candidates.

Therefore he will be announced as president on June 1, without the necessity for elections, which were scheduled for June 14.

This will give Perez more time to sign star players - Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo, Xabi Alonso, David Silva and David Villa are rumoured to be on his list - this summer.

Former Real stars Jorge Valdano and Zinedine Zidane are to be his sporting advisors.

Construction millionaire Perez, 62, was Real president 2000-2006 and became globally famous for signing "Galactico" stars like Luis Figo, Zidane, Ronaldo and David Beckham.

The whites won La Liga in 2001 and 2003 and the Champions League in 2002, but Perez resigned in 2006 after three disappointing trophy-less years.

 

[manwithnoname]

'Crowned'

 

[spider-Neil]

[quote author=rebel23 link=topic=33766.msg875472#msg875472 date=1243343011]

This will give Perez more time to sign star players - Kaka, Cristiano Ronaldo, Xabi Alonso, David Silva and David Villa are rumoured to be on his list - this summer.

[/quote]

ha ha if they land two of the above I'll eat my hat.

 

[keniget]

It's good that it's sorted early for the rest of us... the transfer window can begin in earnest.

If they have any sense, they'll resist the urge to go on fruitless pursuits of Galactico's.

They could pretty much sort out their attack by raiding Valencia. Maybe sign Albiol to replace Cannavaro as well.

 

[Terrier]

crowned.....

Hahahaha



I like you Rabble.

 

[Roopy]

They don't need a fucking Ronaldo or Kaka.

They need players who can fucking defend.

Not that I give a shit, but I find it stupid them never being linked to good defenders.

 

[manwithnoname]

[quote author=Roopy link=topic=33766.msg875517#msg875517 date=1243345214]
They don't need a fucking Ronaldo or Kaka.

They need players who can fucking defend.

Not that I give a shit, but I find it stupid them never being linked to good defenders.
[/quote]

Yeah, apart from Casillas, arguably the best keeper in the world, who have they signed who is any good defensively recently?

Other than Ramos, a right-back who cost them 27m Euros
Pepe, a 30m Euro signing from Porto
The two defensive midfield players Diarra (m) and Diarra (L), who cost 50m Euros altogether
Metzelder, German international defender
Cannavaro, one of the best defenders of recent years
Heinze (shit, but Benitez wanted him badly).

So, apart from all that lot, who?

 

[Roopy]

They are joke.

That Marcelo is shit, so is Heinze.

 

[jan]

They've also bought Garay, who's supposed to be good. We have been linked to him as well before we got Skrtel I think.

 

[Oncy]

[quote author=Brendan link=topic=33766.msg875532#msg875532 date=1243345913]
[quote author=Roopy link=topic=33766.msg875517#msg875517 date=1243345214]
They don't need a fucking Ronaldo or Kaka.

They need players who can fucking defend.

Not that I give a shit, but I find it stupid them never being linked to good defenders.
[/quote]

Yeah, apart from Casillas, arguably the best keeper in the world, who have they signed who is any good defensively recently?

Other than Ramos, a right-back who cost them 27m Euros
Pepe, a 30m Euro signing from Porto
The two defensive midfield players Diarra (m) and Diarra (L), who cost 50m Euros altogether
Metzelder, German international defender
Cannavaro, one of the best defenders of recent years
Heinze (shit, but Benitez wanted him badly).

So, apart from all that lot, who?
[/quote]..the aquaduct, wine, roads..

 

[LadyRed]

I hate this Perez.

 

[gkmacca]

PEREZ SECURES HIS TOP TARGET

Well, hello again, lads. What a flipping HECK of a surprise, eh? There I was, right, just settling down in me Lazee Boy chair, all nice and cosy, slippers on, Diagnosis Murder on the telly - lovely - when the phone goes. Ding-Ding! Gave me a bit of a shock, actually. I spilt fizzy pop all over me meat. Well, I gets up, right, picks up the phone - 'Hallo?' 'Hola!'- some Spanish bloke was calling! So i says, 'Look, matey-o, I've seen your Polaris World adverts, right, and they look smashing and all that, but I'm recuperating from a bad back, a hamstring strain, some bruising of the hair and an ingrowing neck, so I'm not really up for playing Jack Nicklaus even if he does shout all the time at my window. Actually, especially if he shouts all the time at my window. (Why the flipping heck does he shout at people's windows? Doesn't he know how to use the FLIPPING DOOR BELL? Or the phone? Why is flipping Jack flipping Nicklaus resorting to throwing stones at my flipping flaming WINDOW?!!? What the HECK is WRONG with him??) Anyway, I'm telling this bloke all of this, and I tells him: 'So, you know, thanks but no thanks'. But then this fella goes on about Real flipping Madrid! Says he's in charge like. Like Franco. And he wants to sign ME! FLIPPING HECK! Well, I had to say yes. They're one of me teams. I wasn't sure about Madrid straight away, as a place, you know, but me mates put me right. Mr Toshack says it's like Splott but hotter. And they have cable telly, supermarkets, and cows, sheep, pigs, all sorts, so there's plenty of meat there. In fact I've already started learning the language. 'La Carne' - that means 'meat' or 'the meat'. Good, eh? 'Can I have some la carne, mate?' Different name, same taste! Anyway, it gets better and better: I spoke to me old mate Carra about it and he says they don't have offside in La Liga! FLIPPING HECK! I really can't wait!

 

[jimmy]

;D ;D ;D

 

[manwithnoname]

[quote author=gkmacca link=topic=33766.msg875585#msg875585 date=1243349302]
PEREZ SECURES HIS TOP TARGET

Well, hello again, lads. What a flipping HECK of a surprise, eh? There I was, right, just settling down in me Lazee Boy chair, all nice and cosy, slippers on, Diagnosis Murder on the telly - lovely - when the phone goes. Ding-Ding! Gave me a bit of a shock, actually. I spilt fizzy pop all over me meat. Well, I gets up, right, picks up the phone - 'Hallo?' 'Hola!'- some Spanish bloke was calling! So i says, 'Look, matey-o, I've seen your Polaris World adverts, right, and they look smashing and all that, but I'm recuperating from a bad back, a hamstring strain, some bruising of the hair and an ingrowing neck, so I'm not really up for playing Jack Nicklaus even if he does shout all the time at my window. Actually, especially if he shouts all the time at my window. (Why the flipping heck does he shout at people's windows? Doesn't he know how to use the FLIPPING DOOR BELL? Or the phone? Why is flipping Jack flipping Nicklaus resorting to throwing stones at my flipping flaming WINDOW?!!? What the HECK is WRONG with him??) Anyway, I'm telling this bloke all of this, and I tells him: 'So, you know, thanks but no thanks'. But then this fella goes on about Real flipping Madrid! Says he's in charge like. Like Franco. And he wants to sign ME! FLIPPING HECK! Well, I had to say yes. They're one of me teams. I wasn't sure about Madrid straight away, as a place, you know, but me mates put me right. Mr Toshack says it's like Splott but hotter. And they have cable telly, supermarkets, and cows, sheep, pigs, all sorts, so there's plenty of meat there. In fact I've already started learning the language. 'La Carne' - that means 'meat' or 'the meat'. Good, eh? 'Can I have some la carne, mate?' Different name, same taste! Anyway, it gets better and better: I spoke to me old mate Carra about it and he says they don't have offside in La Liga! FLIPPING HECK! I really can't wait!
[/quote]

This is like one of those extended "xmas specials" of a favourite sitcom, in which they fill the extra half an hour running time and slightly extended budget by deciding to whisk the cast off to Europe for some extra "Oooooh la la" laughs and japes.

10/10

 

[FoxForceFive]

Hahahaha. Superb stuff macca.

'ingrowing neck' Genius.

 

[peekay]

[quote author=gkmacca link=topic=33766.msg875585#msg875585 date=1243349302]
PEREZ SECURES HIS TOP TARGET

Well, hello again, lads. What a flipping HECK of a surprise, eh? There I was, right, just settling down in me Lazee Boy chair, all nice and cosy, slippers on, Diagnosis Murder on the telly - lovely - when the phone goes. Ding-Ding! Gave me a bit of a shock, actually. I spilt fizzy pop all over me meat. Well, I gets up, right, picks up the phone - 'Hallo?' 'Hola!'- some Spanish bloke was calling! So i says, 'Look, matey-o, I've seen your Polaris World adverts, right, and they look smashing and all that, but I'm recuperating from a bad back, a hamstring strain, some bruising of the hair and an ingrowing neck, so I'm not really up for playing Jack Nicklaus even if he does shout all the time at my window. Actually, especially if he shouts all the time at my window. (Why the flipping heck does he shout at people's windows? Doesn't he know how to use the FLIPPING DOOR BELL? Or the phone? Why is flipping Jack flipping Nicklaus resorting to throwing stones at my flipping flaming WINDOW?!!? What the HECK is WRONG with him??) Anyway, I'm telling this bloke all of this, and I tells him: 'So, you know, thanks but no thanks'. But then this fella goes on about Real flipping Madrid! Says he's in charge like. Like Franco. And he wants to sign ME! FLIPPING HECK! Well, I had to say yes. They're one of me teams. I wasn't sure about Madrid straight away, as a place, you know, but me mates put me right. Mr Toshack says it's like Splott but hotter. And they have cable telly, supermarkets, and cows, sheep, pigs, all sorts, so there's plenty of meat there. In fact I've already started learning the language. 'La Carne' - that means 'meat' or 'the meat'. Good, eh? 'Can I have some la carne, mate?' Different name, same taste! Anyway, it gets better and better: I spoke to me old mate Carra about it and he says they don't have offside in La Liga! FLIPPING HECK! I really can't wait!
[/quote]

hahahahaha

 

[the_khl]

[quote author=Brendan link=topic=33766.msg875532#msg875532 date=1243345913]
[quote author=Roopy link=topic=33766.msg875517#msg875517 date=1243345214]
They don't need a fucking Ronaldo or Kaka.

They need players who can fucking defend.

Not that I give a shit, but I find it stupid them never being linked to good defenders.
[/quote]

Yeah, apart from Casillas, arguably the best keeper in the world, who have they signed who is any good defensively recently?

Other than Ramos, a right-back who cost them 27m Euros
Pepe, a 30m Euro signing from Porto
The two defensive midfield players Diarra (m) and Diarra (L), who cost 50m Euros altogether
Metzelder, German international defender
Cannavaro, one of the best defenders of recent years
Heinze (shit, but Benitez wanted him badly).

So, apart from all that lot, who?
[/quote]
Their defense is in a complete shambles.

Cannavaro has gone to Juve, Pepe is suspended for half a Season after having tried to kill an opponent and Metzelder has been crap ever since joining them. That leaves them with exactly ZERO central defenders.

They need defenders ever so badly.

If Laudrup is beeing appointed as their new manager as rumoured we are very lucky to have secured Agger on a new lengthy contract.

 

[Mors]

If Perez is in, they'll break the bank for someone. I can see them offering silly money for the waiter or hitler.

Saying that, he might get away with signing David Villa the jammy bastard.

 

[Hansern]

They're after Bruno Alves, and I think he'll be an excellent signing for them.

On a side note, Mario Gomez has gone to Bayern for 30 mill euros.

 

[rebel23]

AS seems confident he has seen off his rivals so not long to wait for the circus to start

 

[SummerOnions]

[quote author=Mors link=topic=33766.msg875651#msg875651 date=1243352429]
If Perez is in, they'll break the bank for someone. I can see them offering silly money for the waiter or hitler.

Saying that, he might get away with signing David Villa the jammy bastard.
[/quote]

who??

 

[ILD]

[quote author=Gareth link=topic=33766.msg876065#msg876065 date=1243379589]
[quote author=Mors link=topic=33766.msg875651#msg875651 date=1243352429]
If Perez is in, they'll break the bank for someone. I can see them offering silly money for the waiter or hitler.

Saying that, he might get away with signing David Villa the jammy bastard.
[/quote]

who??
[/quote]

Kaka.

Keep Up Gareth.

 

[Oncy]

Summer onions would have known that.

 

[ILD]

[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=33766.msg876077#msg876077 date=1243381893]
Summer onions would have known that.
[/quote]

Shocking isn't it?

 

[SummerOnions]

[quote author=ILD link=topic=33766.msg876080#msg876080 date=1243382821]
[quote author=Herr Onceared link=topic=33766.msg876077#msg876077 date=1243381893]
Summer onions would have known that.
[/quote]

Shocking isn't it?
[/quote]

change it back then.

maybe it will restore me.