Ashley Cole is stopped for speeding at 130mph in a 30mph zone. When the police ask him to explain, he says: "I've just heard John Terry is parked outside my house."
* After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans are now urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey's wife.
* Chant heard at Burnley v Wigan: "Same old Terry, always cheating."
* John Terry has been lined up to star in a new ITV drama. It's called Other Footballers' Wives.
* John Terry has announced he's lost his England captain's armband. Fabio Capello told him to ask Wayne Bridge to check under the bed.
* What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common? They both should've stayed at Southampton.
* John Terry is to release a charity single - it's a version of The Cars' My Best Friend's Girl.
* His follow-up will be Under The Bridge.
* What has Vanessa Perroncel got in common with a Champions League final goalpost? They've both been banged by John Terry...
* Chant heard at Hull v Chelsea: "Chelsea, Wherever you may be, Don't leave your wife with John Terry. Cos he likes a shag, he likes a bit of fluff, And he'll get your missus up the duff".
* We all knew John Terry liked scoring at The Bridge, but this is ridiculous.
* Poor Wayne Bridge - he's not even first choice with his his wife.
* Wayne Bridge bought Vanessa Perroncel a chocolate willy... but she says she prefers Terry's.
* John Terry has explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.
* After Wayne Bridge refused to play for England while John Terry remains captain, fans are now urging JT to try it on with Emile Heskey's wife.
* Chant heard at Burnley v Wigan: "Same old Terry, always cheating."
* John Terry has been lined up to star in a new ITV drama. It's called Other Footballers' Wives.
* John Terry has announced he's lost his England captain's armband. Fabio Capello told him to ask Wayne Bridge to check under the bed.
* What do Wayne Bridge and the Titanic have in common? They both should've stayed at Southampton.
* John Terry is to release a charity single - it's a version of The Cars' My Best Friend's Girl.
* His follow-up will be Under The Bridge.
* What has Vanessa Perroncel got in common with a Champions League final goalpost? They've both been banged by John Terry...
* Chant heard at Hull v Chelsea: "Chelsea, Wherever you may be, Don't leave your wife with John Terry. Cos he likes a shag, he likes a bit of fluff, And he'll get your missus up the duff".
* We all knew John Terry liked scoring at The Bridge, but this is ridiculous.
* Poor Wayne Bridge - he's not even first choice with his his wife.
* Wayne Bridge bought Vanessa Perroncel a chocolate willy... but she says she prefers Terry's.
* John Terry has explained he didn't mean to have sex with Vanessa Perroncel - he just slipped while he was showing her how to take a penalty.
