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Heskey Turns Back on Civilisation

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Or get a job as a TV presenter like Fevola.

Whoever thought that was a good idea should have their balls trampled by a herd of elephants.
 
Sorry, but Roopy's right - the idea that AFL players are down-to-earth decent blokes is laughable.

Of course some are, but in general, again Roopy's right they are a bunch of idiots.

At least one will be caught running around Melbourne city centre with their cock out next Monday when they have their end if season club piss ups - and some school girl will probably be molested... again.

Exactly.

I can take you out to any city in Australia on a Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday night and take you to a pub where I can gaurantee you there will be elite Aussie Rules players hitting the pints big time & behaving like complete idiots. At the end of the day, if I go out to the clubs/bars in the city at night, and theres a fight ... 85% chance its Aussie Rule players, 10% its Rugby League players, 5% just a bunch ove average joes having a biff.

Aussie Rules players have been done for: (and this is just shit from the last few years)

- shagging 16 yr old girls that they found on facebook
- ... & not just players, but their 50 yr old agents have been caught doing these girls too ... one even left his one for one.
- shagging a team mates wife
- repeated weed, ecstasy, cocaine, meth use
- West Coast Eagles (the team based in Perth) .... players from this club have links with bikie gangs, and certain players are known to be big coke dealers themselves - because earning $600,000 a season just isn't enough.
- one player recently got done for getting involved in some aboriginal tribe war where he attacked someone with a machete.

There are a few good ppl involved in the sport but at the end of the day the majority are complete dickheads who represent the redneck, macho, beer guzzling boofhead culture of Australia.
 
To all of those who are saying "A-League is shit, MLS is shit" - who the fuck is saying in the first place that they are 1st class leagues?

People need to get a brain check and realise there's a whole fucking world of football beyond the shores of UK & Europe.

So what if Heskey wants to go play in Australia?

Our league might not be the best, but it's certainly not the worst ... In Heskey's case, why the fuck would you play in Sunderland or Birmingham or some other city in England when you can go play in Sydney or Melbourne where The Lying Rag shines all year around & the bitches are fine.

Del Piero brought his family over here, now Heskey has.

Next up ... Michael Ballack 🙂 He's in talks with Melbourne & West Sydney.

You can bag out Australia & USA all you want ... the mighty Ingerlund certainly can't beat them on the football pitch going on the past meetings with both nations ....

Because his wife doesn't like being referred to as a bitch?
 
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Getting the introductions out the way: 'Number 9, meet the ground. Ground, meet Number 9'.

In a spectacular welcoming ceremony that reminded many present of Michael Owen's arrival at Real Madrid, Heskey emerged on to the pitch through a guard of honour composed of koala bears dressed in replica kits. The ashes of favourite Aussie Funnyman Norman Gunston were thrown over Heskey (42) for good luck.
 


Surely this is a pisstake.

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/sport/fo...f-Heskey-Cam-during-Newcastle-Jets-match.html
Emile Heskey so big Down Under Australian TV viewers have option of 'Heskey Cam' during Newcastle Jets match

Emile Heskey has been an instant hit with fans of Newcastle Jets, the A-League side he joined earlier this year. So much so that one Australian broadcaster has come up with a novel idea – the Heskey Cam.


Heskey lines up for Newcastle on Friday night against Melbourne Victory and fans will be afforded the opportunity of tuning in to solely watch the 34-year-old's moves.

Fox Sport ran similar services for recent matches involving Alessandro del Piero and Shinji Ono.

"Fresh from the success of Del Piero Cam and Ono Cam, Fox Sports will again be following an A-League marquee player in a blockbuster encounter," promises the advertising for the big show.

"To mark the clash between Newcastle Jets and Melbourne Victory at Hunter Stadium on Friday night, you can watch every movement of the Jets' English striker Emile Heskey as he looks to inspire his side to a win over a suddenly-resurgent Victory."

"Heskey Cam gives you it all: one camera, one hero; every pass, every run, everything Heskey does on the pitch, you'll see it first with the Heskey Cam, the dedicated broadcast providing a rare insight into what makes Heskey so good."

Heskey scored his first goal in his second outing for the club, in a 3-2 win over Del Pierro's Sydney FC and a week later was on target again as the Jets beat Central Coast Mariners 2-1.
 
I think it's great.

I look forward to watching Steven Gerrard over here in 4 years time.
 
Might get to meet big Emily when he pops down to Melbourne next week.

And in other news - latest footballing dinosaur to be linked to A-League - Beckham, with Melbourne Heart bookies favorites.

Good old Harry has been linked with Perth after absolutely no one will give him a game in England.
 
That miss when he found himself in the six yard box, unmarked, with a last second equalizer on a plate, so he decided to fall flat on his arse and swing his flailing leg at the ball, barely making any contact at all, when it would have been easier to score..? That 3 second moment that summed up his final couple of seasons with us..? THAT miss?

Me too.
 
I note that he cleared out his left ear hole at the end of the clip, as if to signify the presence of a waxy residue which affected his balance as he went to head the ball.
 
Lot of people forgetting how he played for us in 2001. He was brilliant for a coupe of years for us. Not saying he's one of the greats or anything, but when he was a young player with us he was excellent.
I hardly missed a game in those days and he was unplayable often.
For those with a short memory, or those who seem to simply enjoy slagging off our former players, here's a reminder.

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mZ1AaZWB0Tc
 
I don't know, Sean. Even in those days he could be as frustrating as hell. Sometimes fantastic, as you say, but still exasperating.
 
I don't know, Sean. Even in those days he could be as frustrating as hell. Sometimes fantastic, as you say, but still exasperating.

I also think he had one brilliant season, when he shouldered the load really well and score 20 (+?) goals, but the rest? Average. Pity he was never as good as the fee we spent on him - but when he had 'those' days, he was unplayable
 
He was shite against Melbourne Heart a few weeks ago - even got booked for huffing.
 
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