Commentary Decoder

[Farkmaster]

"It was always going to be difficult from that distance"

Means

A shit left back took the easy way out.

 

[darkstarexodus]

*like*

Let's hear some more.

 

[doctor_mac]

"...he's an 'honest' player, you always know what you'll get from him..."

Means

He should be playing in the Championship.

 

[doctor_mac]

"..He likes to play the game on the edge..."

Means

He's a dirty brute of a player.

 

[Farkmaster]

"mercurial"

Means

Mostly shit with stepovers and the odd goal.

 

[doctor_mac]

"he needs the ball played into his feet"

Means

He is shite at (a) holding the ball up (b) heading

 

[Farkmaster]

"The ref took a long hard look at that"

Means

The ref had no clue what happened and didn't give a penalty/gave a free kick an inch outside the box.

 

[doctor_mac]

"he has great feet for a big man"

Means

This guy is nearly 7 foot tall yet he can't fucking head the ball.

 

[Judge Jules]

"Referees should use more common sense"/ "Referees should be more consistent"

means

"Let's kneejerk a comment on that decision and fill a bit of air time".

 

[Ryan]

"Game; well and truly over - and I hate saying that!"

Means...

I'm a bitter bluenose cunt who's about to get his sexist heart broken.

 

[The Slugmonster]

"I didn't see it"

Translation

I'm a senile old french twat who hasnt the balls to discipline my players for stupid on field antics leading to a complete and utter self combustion aound march or april of every season.

 

[FoxForceFive]

[quote author=Ryan link=topic=45250.msg1328537#msg1328537 date=1304850076]
"Game; well and truly over - and I hate saying that!"

Means...

I'm a bitter bluenose cunt who's about to get his sexist heart broken.
[/quote]

hahahaha

 

[iseered]

"It is a game of two halves"

Means...

It is a game of two halves.

 

[Judge Jules]

"He has an educated left foot"

means

"...thank goodness, because it's the only bit of him capable of learning anything".

 

[FoxForceFive]

"You could never accuse him of shirking a challenge"

means

"He's just not quick enough to get out of the way"

 

[SaintGeorge67]

"He hit it too well"

Means

"He missed"

 

[monsieurdantes]

"Inches away from opening the scoring"

means

"He missed the post by a foot and a half"

 

[iseered]

[quote author=SaintGeorge67 link=topic=45250.msg1328553#msg1328553 date=1304853221]
"He hit it too well"

Means

"He missed"
[/quote]
hahaha

 

[Judge Jules]

"The post/bar prevented a goal"

means

"I'm a fupping idiot who's too dumb to remember that there wouldn't be any goals if the post/bar weren't there in the first place".

 

[SaintGeorge67]

"you're always told to head it down"

means

"he missed"

 

[Avmenon]

'The referee had a big decision to make and bottled it'

=

'I love Sir Alex the Horsefucker and he has every right not to speak to the press after this latest refereeing fuckup never mind that one or more of his players shouldnt be on the field anyway'

 

[SaintGeorge67]

"what a great effort/how unlucky"

means

"he missed"

 

[SaintGeorge67]

Alec Ferguson

means

Alex Ferguson

 

[doctor_mac]

"At this level the margins between success and failure are so fine"

Means

Yer man missed a fucking sitter

 

[Asbo]

Rafa insists on Zonal Marking despite it not working.

Means nevermind his goalkeeper has won the Goilden Gloves 3 seasons running, and the defence is the best in the League, he's Spanish and doesn't understand English football

 

[SaintGeorge67]

He was also the only man in history to make substitutions after 65 minutes

 

[Asbo]

[quote author=SaintGeorge67 link=topic=45250.msg1328582#msg1328582 date=1304856502]
He was also the only man in history to make substitutions after 65 minutes
[/quote]

Umm Roy Hodgeson waited until Extra Time when we got knocked out of the Coca Cola Cup (or whatever the fuckers called now)

 

[SaintGeorge67]

I was joking. It was another of Andy Gray's views

 

[Asbo]

Its not Roy Hodgesons team yet.

Means "look we know he's Shite, has only won 3 away matches in 4 years and dragged Liverpool into the bottom three but he is English and not a fat Spaniard, lets blame Rafa instead!

 

[Avmenon]

[quote author=Asbo link=topic=45250.msg1328587#msg1328587 date=1304856822]
[quote author=SaintGeorge67 link=topic=45250.msg1328582#msg1328582 date=1304856502]
He was also the only man in history to make substitutions after 65 minutes
[/quote]

Umm Roy Hodgeson waited until Extra Time when we got knocked out of the Coca Cola Cup (or whatever the fuckers called now)
[/quote]

Carling