Teach him to kick the ball and feed him a bucket of fish heads everynight....Problem sorted!
"Best midfield in the world"
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Teach him to kick the ball and feed him a bucket of fish heads everynight....Problem sorted!
'Dove for Men' lol.
Ha. I haven't heard the word "grock" in years.
I'd have him any day of the week. I was skeptical in the summer but I was wrong. He's got steel and quality.
I was in the pub the other day talking to a 70-odd year old scouse fella on holiday...he used the word grock and as I watched a nice young lass walking by he said, 'look at you...blimpin'!'...it made my day cos I hadn't heard that in years myself!
Our midfielders are all Mr Beans, seriously. We have the Brazilian Mr. Bean, the Turkish Mr. Bean, the Welsh Mr. Bean and the young English Mr. Bean. The only one with a pair is Gerrard.
Henderson could develop an element of directed thuggery but it will have to be coached into him. He needs to be used cynically for a while. Let him start a game with the sole intent of winding up or hurting a specific opposition player, some other pussy like Cabaye or Carrick or someone. Just put him on for 45 minutes and tell him his sole job is to be a complete cunt and that he's in the shit if the crowd aren't booing him after 10 minutes. It's the best way to make this part of his game. I can't see this working with the others though, maybe Lucas, but Allen will just look silly if he tries to act the cunt.
Henderson could develop an element of directed thuggery but it will have to be coached into him. He needs to be used cynically for a while. Let him start a game with the sole intent of winding up or hurting a specific opposition player, some other pussy like Cabaye or Carrick or someone. Just put him on for 45 minutes and tell him his sole job is to be a complete cunt and that he's in the shit if the crowd aren't booing him after 10 minutes. It's the best way to make this part of his game. I can't see this working with the others though, maybe Lucas, but Allen will just look silly if he tries to act the cunt.
I don't believe there is actually a movie Glengarry Glen Ross. It's a myth that people in the know shuffle out now and again to take the piss out of the rest of us. Yis fucking cunts.
FUCK!!
*bundles the good Doctor into the back of a van*
It's one of those movies that get trotted out all the time on here and I too have never ever seen it in real life. As I've pieced together it stars Alec Baldwin as a Whiskey drinking womanizing Lawyer or possibly real estate agent who acts like a cunt to a bloke who is a bit like Gill from the Simpsons?
As I mentioned earlier in the week, until recently I thought it was a movie about a police man in a village in the Scottish highlands.
Now that I'd watch!
I'm deadly serious, if I was a coach I'd have "being a dick" as part of my regular training schedule. We'd watch videos of famous footballing cunts and I'd get players to practice it in training - diving, niggling, handling, fouling, shirt-pulling, injury-faking, referee intimidating, imaginary-card waving, penalty-taker intimidating, time-wasting, pinching, foot-stamping, stud-catching, yards-stealing from set pieces, wanker-baiting, 'accidentally' head-butting and elbowing at set-pieces...and so on and so on.
That shit is worth 10 points per season.
It's funny though, there's also an ineffable cuntishness that you probably couldn't give some players, no matter how well you coached cuntish behavior into them.
That shit is worth 10 points per season.
It's funny though, there's also an ineffable cuntishness that you probably couldn't give some players, no matter how well you coached cuntish behavior into them.
I think you are thinking of Whiskey Galore or Local Hero or Hamish Macbeth? Local hero was great i think it starred Ted Danson as a brash american who has to go to Scotland to build a golf course but he falls in love with the land/Scottish people.
In which case check out "Hamish MacBeth"; it's an entire series never mind a film!
The problem with the midfield is that Lucas is nowhere near as good as Masch, Allen is nowhere near as good as Alonso and Gerrard is nowhere near as good as Gerrard was. However, he's still fuckloads better than what's around him. We're used to seeing great things and this very average contingent now saps the life out of me. It's like when I've been sat in the ground watching some filler side, some side no one gives a shit about like Sunderland or Fulham or whatever, just making up the numbers in the league, and it occurs to me that I don't even know who is in their midfield - I feel that way about Liverpool now. It's not as if we've got the best, it's not as if we've got nearly the best, we've got the kind of shit you'd expect to find in one of those clubs no one gives a fuck about and isn't about to win anything. Henderson is a championship standard player and if he left tomorrow we'd probably all forget he ever existed. Shelvey has got loads going for him but he needs a decent coach to sort him out
I know what Hamish Macbeth was! I've not been living under a rock for the last 20 years! Actually I never cared for it. It was a bit like a poor mans Northern Exposure. He was a real fish out of water! It was about a typical New York Doctor who found himself living in a backwards Alaskan town. At 1st it did his head in but by the end he didn't mind it that much.
I forgot Shelvey. He could be made into a proper cunt with the right mentoring and coaching.
I'd say Allen has the potential to be great. Problem is though if he's going to play further forward he doesn't score nearly enough goals for that position. Shelvey could be a good sitting midfielder but it seems like the staff see him playing further forward too...he lacks a bit of pace and touch for me, but he's only 20.
True...And he looks like Gary Neville so you can't really forget that when watching him.
i was hoping we would get him in the summer. Only reason why wigan dropped him last season was because he wasn't going to sign a new contact. The guy would give us much needed steel. But i guess he doesn't suit Rodgers style of football. The thing is its all good playing tippy tappy shit, but sometimes you just need some good old fashioned steel. Cah't see Rodgers wanting him at all.
Unless a player demonstrates in his first 10 games or so that he's prepared....nay, happy.... to cheat, injure an opponent and intimidate an official, and do so with cunning and fortitude, then he should be quietly sold in the next window or sent back to the academy for another six months for a refresher in cuntishness.
You kick the ball into an opponent and it bounces back off your leg for a throw in to the opposition. Do you...
A) accept the decision the referee calls with good grace.
B) immediately thrust your arm into the air and shout 'ours' more in hope than expectation.
C) turn snarling at the ref and then have a 10 minute running slagging match with the lineman?
If you answered a or b please return to academy for further cunt training. Could be on to something.
A) accept the decision the referee calls with good grace.
B) immediately thrust your arm into the air and shout 'ours' more in hope than expectation.
C) turn snarling at the ref and then have a 10 minute running slagging match with the lineman?
If you answered a or b please return to academy for further cunt training. Could be on to something.
I'm getting confused with Glen Ross, NI strong man and Glenroe, RTE tv drama.
Neither of which are Scottish.
Shelvey surely is the one we should be egging on. He got sent off against united and gave Fergie shit of the way off the field. He's ready for the big leagues of being a cunt. Didn't he also make a 3-2 gestures with his fingers to piss off Jusssssssi Jaskelanenananin when we beat West Ham?
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