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Kane - "I swear on my daughter Life I touched it!"

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Congrats to Harry Kane!!!

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"When I was smaller people said I was like a little Michael Owen"

Now... don't misunderstand me... I cannot stand the way Owen ended up with shit badges on his shirt nor the way he treated us as a club at the end but at the same time... deserved dislike of Owen aside he was fucking lightning until he did his hamstrings on another planet of footballing dangerousness compared to Kane. The people who were watching Kane must have been far too close to drugs too often.
 
"When I was smaller people said I was like a little Michael Owen"

Now... don't misunderstand me... I cannot stand the way Owen ended up with shit badges on his shirt nor the way he treated us as a club at the end but at the same time... deserved dislike of Owen aside he was fucking lightning until he did his hamstrings on another planet of footballing dangerousness compared to Kane. The people who were watching Kane must have been far too close to drugs too often.
Dont undersell him pal. Just because hes shown himself to be a cunt doesnt change that he is fucking lethal.
Hes about 24 too. He will shatter all premier league records at this rate.
 
"When I was smaller people said I was like a little Michael Owen"

Now... don't misunderstand me... I cannot stand the way Owen ended up with shit badges on his shirt nor the way he treated us as a club at the end but at the same time... deserved dislike of Owen aside he was fucking lightning until he did his hamstrings on another planet of footballing dangerousness compared to Kane. The people who were watching Kane must have been far too close to drugs too often.

Kane's a phenomenal finisher, but the Owen comparison seems a bit odd, given that he was, as you say, lightning quick.

But their goalscoring achievements at a relatively young age do bear comparison, even if their playing style and attributes don't really.
 
Oh my dear God

Harry Kane and his family are ‘furious’ over the continued jokes at the Tottenham striker’s expense.
Kane has been subjected to all of the banter after swearing on his daughter’s life that he got the final touch on a goal against Stoke earlier this month.
Tottenham and Kane successfully appealed to have the goal awarded to the striker, who is chasing Mohamed Salah in the race to win the Premier League’s Golden Boot.
But the decision has somewhat backfired, with Kane ridiculed by even the FA’s official Twitter account.
They have since apologised for a tweet which suggested that Chris Smalling had pocketed the 24-year-old during the FA Cup semi-final, but the Daily Mirror claim that Kane and his family are ‘furious’ over the jibes.
It is understood that PFA chairman Ben Purkiss could be ‘forced out’ of the organisation as he is refusing to apologise for a joke at Kane’s expense at the recent PFA awards.
Purkiss’s speech included the line: “Harry Kane is so prolific that he is able to score without touching the ball.”
Purkiss has been involved in an ‘escalating row’ since, but argues that there is no need to apology publicly as he has already said sorry to Kane in private.
“The facts are I personally spoke to Harry Kane. I explained I was complimenting him on his achievements, how he went on loan before being such a success at Tottenham and my comments were complimentary.
“During my speech I made reference to the fantastic achievements of our members. I spoke about the adversity footballers at all levels face. I referenced some of the nominees for the PFA Men’s award.
“I referenced Harry Kane and spoke about my admiration for his success he achieved after his loan spells away from White Hart Lane. I said that he was so good he could score without touching the ball. I know for a fact he touched the ball. He was credited with the goal by an independent panel.
“I was joking at how ridiculous the coverage was as he is such a talented footballer. I contacted Harry to explain my comments and he stated that he had not taken offence to my comments.”
The Mirror add that Kane ‘is known to be upset by the lack of respect’ shown towards him, while he and his family believe he has become a victim of ‘a form of bullying’.
Those at the PFA awards dinner were said to be ‘mortified’ by Purkiss’s joke, and how the PFA were left ’embarrassed’ by the jibe.
 
So no actual quotes from either Kane or Kane's family claiming to be furious?

Brendan, how does this bullshit emerge from your ether?
 
Oh my dear God

Harry Kane and his family are ‘furious’ over the continued jokes at the Tottenham striker’s expense.
Kane has been subjected to all of the banter after swearing on his daughter’s life that he got the final touch on a goal against Stoke earlier this month.
Tottenham and Kane successfully appealed to have the goal awarded to the striker, who is chasing Mohamed Salah in the race to win the Premier League’s Golden Boot.
But the decision has somewhat backfired, with Kane ridiculed by even the FA’s official Twitter account.
They have since apologised for a tweet which suggested that Chris Smalling had pocketed the 24-year-old during the FA Cup semi-final, but the Daily Mirror claim that Kane and his family are ‘furious’ over the jibes.
It is understood that PFA chairman Ben Purkiss could be ‘forced out’ of the organisation as he is refusing to apologise for a joke at Kane’s expense at the recent PFA awards.
Purkiss’s speech included the line: “Harry Kane is so prolific that he is able to score without touching the ball.”
Purkiss has been involved in an ‘escalating row’ since, but argues that there is no need to apology publicly as he has already said sorry to Kane in private.
“The facts are I personally spoke to Harry Kane. I explained I was complimenting him on his achievements, how he went on loan before being such a success at Tottenham and my comments were complimentary.
“During my speech I made reference to the fantastic achievements of our members. I spoke about the adversity footballers at all levels face. I referenced some of the nominees for the PFA Men’s award.
“I referenced Harry Kane and spoke about my admiration for his success he achieved after his loan spells away from White Hart Lane. I said that he was so good he could score without touching the ball. I know for a fact he touched the ball. He was credited with the goal by an independent panel.
“I was joking at how ridiculous the coverage was as he is such a talented footballer. I contacted Harry to explain my comments and he stated that he had not taken offence to my comments.”
The Mirror add that Kane ‘is known to be upset by the lack of respect’ shown towards him, while he and his family believe he has become a victim of ‘a form of bullying’.
Those at the PFA awards dinner were said to be ‘mortified’ by Purkiss’s joke, and how the PFA were left ’embarrassed’ by the jibe.

I think Harry Kane can rightly claim being the Author of that sentence.
 
Would his last goal be the one against Stoke then?

No chance of that. If he really is a cunt and has not explicitly left that goal to Christian Eriksen in his will, then I'm sure the executors of his estate would not put up much of a fight once it is contested.
 
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