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Annoying commentary

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Beamrider

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Stuff you hear commentators say all the time that you find really irritating. May be some different answers for any posters not watching with English commentators.

I’ll start with “That’s great refereeing’ for whenever a ref plays advantage and then pulls the play back for a free kick when there’s no advantage. Refs have been doing this for decades. It’s not some revolutionary innovation, it’s standard practice. Commentators say this all the time.
 
Bruno Fernandez....most other players are just called by their last name, but some reason......he's special.
 
Not a commentator, but the studio punditry - Jamie Redknapp said it yesterday when talking about Brighton - "I love watching them play". Hear it all the time & it is total bollocks
 
Ok not put a downer but:

Black player does something really good in game. Commentator: "He is such a skillful player"

White player does something really good in a game: Commentator: "He is such an intelligent player"
 
Martin Tyler - "Wayne Rooney, is it written in the stars!? Is it written in the script!?" ... proceeds to shoot well wide.
 
"On his day, he scores that everytime" "On his day, he saves that everytime"

If we're going to be pedantic - a professional play 'on their day' should be executing everything with perfection, yes. If a keeper 'on their day' isn't saving everything they should be out in the real world working 9-5.
 
“The keeper let in…..” I doubt keepers let any in unless they are on the take.
 
Glenn Hoddle is probably the worst for this, but "look at...(add the thing that you've just seen)" . I'm watching the match on the TV. Most technology baffles me, but I know that "looking at" is what you are meant to do with a TV. I've never wondered why the wife has arranged the chairs in the living room, so that everyone faces that box in the corner of the room with the moving pictures on.
 
"should be hitting the target" "should be working the goalkeeper"

Are you fucking stupid that you don't even understand the basic purpose of football? You have to hit it as hard as possible and as close to the corner as possible, to, you know, actually fucking score. So when you do that, half your shots will go wide, half will go in. If you instead try to hit it "on target", guess what you fucking moron, every fucking single fucking shot will be saved. I wish I could take a cricket bat to their heads such is their utterly idiotic grasp of basic probability and newtonian mechanics. Thick cunts.
 
Not so much actual comments or cliches, but McManaman gets on my tits, especially the way he over emphasises the end of words in an attempt to sound posher than he is. That's when he's not going full "Yes Fletch, no Fletch, three bags full Fletch".
 
I know everyone loves Peter Drury - but at times it would be nice to hear some analysis of the tactics / match rather than constant ejaculation over CR7 / Salah etc
 
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